Category Archives: Opinion

The Good, The Bad, The Unforgettable: Yoga Hosers

Okay, let me begin by saying that this film, and I’ll even quote it for you guys, “is the best film I’d seen in a while”, (you can just copy and paste that quote wherever you’d like, I made it easy for you). Yeah, that’s super bold to say and in a way, you really can’t trust a person who doesn’t have much under her belt minus a few podcasts and reviews. So, let me explain just why I believe that anyone who is a fan of both Kevin Smith and Canada should watch the journey between two best friends unfold.

There will be spoilers so don’t read any further unless you feel totally sure about your decisions.

The film stars Harley Quinn Smith, (Smith’s very own daughter), and Lily Rose Depp, (Johnny Depp’s very own daughter), as best friends Colleen Collette and Colleen McKenzie who work at a Canadian convenience store called Eh-2-Zed.  Doesn’t already have you hooked? Well, the teenagers are invited to a ‘grade twelve’ party by two older boys, (played by Austin Butler and Tyler Posey), who happen to be fucking Satanist that want to disembowel the Colleen’s. Does that have you hooked? No? Well, the convenience store is soon overrun by murderous Nazi bratwurst that kills the boys and leaves the girls to fight for themselves. 

Please, tell me that you want to watch it now.

The girls are arrested and then interrogated by Guy Lapointe, a strange French detective who happens to be played by Johnny Depp himself. Of course, he believes the girl’s story as he himself has evidence of these ‘Bratzi’ monsters. After failing to defeat the monsters, the Colleen’s are taken to the bratzi’s ruler, Adronicus Arcane, a Canadian Nazi who froze himself so he could rise again later.

The film is so much stupid fun and you can’t help but laugh alongside all the guest appearances like Haley Joel Osment and Justin Long from the film that started the whole thing, Tusk, (another conversation for another day). There is plenty more to find in this film but it would be terrible of me to spoil it any further for you.

While I must admit that this isn’t Smith’s greatest work, it definitely does not deserve to be considered a ‘bad film’, but rather an unforgettable one. In ten years, I guarantee that this film, as well as many/all of Smith’s films, (future, current, and past), will grace film lover’s, and general fun lover’s, shelves around the world.

I know that many of them grace mine.

Check out the trailer for the film below:

The Good, The Bad, The Unforgettable: Troll 2

For those of you who are into the pop culture aspect of films and general media, (and you really shouldn’t be here if you aren’t), then I’m sure all of you have discovered Hulu’s most recent film additionTroll 2. Now, before you say anything about it being a sequel or anything, let me tell you now that THERE ISN’T A PREQUEL. Not only did this film inspire conventions dedicated solely to the film, but it also inspired a documentary written by the child star of the film. But before we delve into the outside aspect of the film, let’s talk about what this piece of art really was; the best worst movie.

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Troll 2 stars Michael Stephenson as Joshua Walts, a little boy whose family will be spending time vacationing for a home exchange program in a town called Nilbog, despite the warnings that his deceased grandfather, Seth, gives him. Of course, he doesn’t have much control over his father’s decisions and they leave for the town. Shortly after arriving, Joshua is warned by his grandfather, who takes the form of a hitchhiker, that anything consumed at Nilbog will turn the family into plants. Joshua then sets to destroy anything edible once they arrive, getting him in trouble on multiple occasions.

The town is then discovered to be run by goblins, Nilbog backwards, and it is discovered that the goblin queen is using a stone from Stonehenge to make the goblins more powerful. It is then up to Joshua and his family to call upon Seth to destroy the goblin queen and get everyone out alive.

The story is riddled with awkward dialogue and plot devices that don’t make sense, (like the fact that there aren’t any trolls in the film). Despite that, the film has become a huge cult sensation and people all over North America have private screenings where they invite the cast to talk about their experiences as well as act out their favorite scenes.

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In 2007, Michael Stephenson created a documentary on the film that recounts his experience with doing the film and how he didn’t even realize what he had done until after the production, when he saw the film on VHS. The film, titled Best Worst Movie, visits the homes of some of the stars of the film and brings them all together to discuss their experiences with the film; all of which had similar encounters with the lack of communication regarding the films release. It is also showcases discussions with the films director and writer, Claudio Fragasso, and his dream for the film and what it became.

All in all, it’s a film worth watching at least once and if you haven’t already, open up your Hulu account, or sign up for a free thirty day trial, and watch it!

The Good, The Bad, The Unforgettable: Resident Evil 4

It’s October and Halloween is right around the corner and while the Gamecube isn’t necessarily a console that falls in the’throwback’ category, it is still the first innovative console that most millennials ever owned. It is also the only console that everyone agrees had the best rendition of Resident Evil 4 out of all four retail releases. The game’s ‘next generation’ graphics and story line were among the best in Resident Evil history and it shows across all of the positive reviews left by thousands of gamers since its release in 2005.

The game focuses on Leon Kennedy as he is tasked by the US Government to find and retrieve the president’s daughter who was kidnapped by cultists known as Los Illuminados  in a rural part of Spain. The game takes place after Resident Evil 2, a whole six years after the Racoon City destruction. It’s the first game in which Leon has a complete protagonist role and focuses on him not as a police officer, but as a man who has witnessed the destruction of the ‘zombie’ epidemic as well as what it can do to a person.

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The game is essentially one huge rescue mission as you soon begin to discover that not all is as it seems, (and as a Resident Evil game, is it ever?). As you start your search for Ashley Graham, you begin to come to the realization that there is something wrong with the people of the Spanish village that you are stranded at. Soon after, you are captured by the leader of the cultists, Osmund Saddler, and injected with a mind-controlling parasite known as Las Plagas and join forces with a former researcher named Luis Sera. You soon discover that Ashley is held captive at a nearby church and after saving her, come to realize the plan of Saddler is to inject Ashley with the same parasite so that when she returns home, she could inject her father, the president.

Although the story doesn’t really come full circle, seeing as THE PRESIDENT’S DAUGHTER WAS KIDNAPPED AND THEN BROUGHT BACK SAFELY WITH VISIBLE WOUNDS, but it’s still a fun game. The best part of the game is hen you continue to progress through this rural area of Spain and begin to fight the cultists that are under the control of Ramon Salazar, the eighth castellan of a fortress in Spain who appears to be a ten year old boy but has grayed hair and wrinkles.

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You soon find out that the person responsible for kidnapping Ashley is non other that Jack Krauser, a former police officer who worked alongside Leon but was believed to be killed in a helicopter crash two years prior. Of course, he wanted power and seeked out Albert Wesker who tasked him with going to Spain to steal a dominant strain of the mind-controlling parasite. Along the way, however, you meet with Ada Wong, who wants the strain  as well for a unknown reason, and helps you fight and kill Jack in order to obtain it. After the fight, she helps you and Ashley remove the parasite from your bodies but escapes in a helicopter as the former two escape in Ada’s jet ski.

The game is far from perfect, but it definitely holds it’s value as being one of the best Resident Evil games in the franchise’s history. It brings you a fascinating story starring Leon as he was meant to be portrayed as well as showcasing the complexity of the relationships between some of the franchise’s greatest characters.

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The game was recently re-released as a remastered port on the PS4 and Xbox One in anticipation for the upcoming Resident Evil 7 game. I would highly recommend that you check out this specific title in the series if you’ve never played a Resident Evil game before or have simply never played a good one.

 

What Board Games Do We Want to See?

We are in an era where board games seem to be popping up from everywhere based off of games or cult icons that we all know and love. The most recent two being Space Goat Productions’s Evil Dead 2 board game and Steamforged Games’s Dark Souls board game. Both are very interesting concepts and the developers of these games have home above and beyond to provide players with an experience that can be enjoyed alongside their original counterparts. But with that being said, there is a whole line of board games that could be developed in reference to some of today, (and yesterday’s) hottest games and movies that people would be crazy not to pick up. I am n board game connoisseur and the thoughts that I have here might not resonate well in the idea of making a board game so if any of the following suggestions sound either impossible or downright dumb, feel free to let me know.

Re-Animator

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Re-Animator isn’t a good movie, it’s a phenomenal one, and it transcends beyond what is normally believed about the relationship between life and death. Countless fans have dressed up as Herbert West during horror and cult conventions, citing the film series as their favorite of all time. Who wouldn’t like it? It’s a very realistic, if not somewhat plausible, take on life after death and how the brain still has enough time to survive far after it has broken down. Herbert West wants to prove his experiment a success by injecting his special serum into the bodies of deceased patients. Of course, this doesn’t yield well as the bodies are re-animated and go forth destroying everything in their path, a side effect of a large dosage of the serum, (though it is never really confirmed if that was the case).

A board game could have something to do with players taking the roles of Herbert West, Dan Cain, and Megan Halsey, (as well as a few more), in order to escape from the bodies that are fighting against their decomposed bodies. It could be something along the lines of defeating some kind of evil using the serum or simply trying to escape without having your entrails ripped out. Different modes within the game would allow for more versatile gameplay and can allow for longer and different play styles each time it is played. If anything, the game would do really well if it mimicked certain characteristics from other board games such as Betrayal at House on the Hill and allowed for one character to seek out the demise of others through a series of cards that are played throughout the game.

The X-Files

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Yes, I am well aware that The X Files already has a board game, or some kind of card game, but what would make an even better take on the series would be a much grittier tale. Dana Scully and Fox Mulder are taking on a whole new beast. It could act as a kind of Season 11 that takes place before this year’s X Files debut. You have different pieces on the board depicting the different monsters and entities that have come before within the series and characters like The Cigarette Man, Skinner, and Krycek, need to focus on the specific task of their character. The game could be played where no one knows who the other’s character is, allowing for each character to utilize the element of surprise when moving forward with their own plan. For example, if I am playing as The Cigarette Man, it is my duty to stop Scully and Mulder from progressing forward, having to use the cards in my hand to end their turn as quickly as possible or make my character progress significantly.

Characters will eventually be discovered but the idea is to reach your character’s end goal prior to anyone else. It’s only a very simple take on a board game but it would be interesting nonetheless and could include elements similar to dungeons and dragons where with a series of story cards or scenarios, each game would be a totally different beast and allow for replayability beyond normal board games. Besides, who wouldn’t want a little figurine of Mulder and Scully while you solve little mysteries and uncover to truth of what is really out there.

Pokemon

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There are a million Pokemon board games out there and each one just piles up on the other as they are released. What would make this series an awesome board game would be a single game that has purchasable expansions that allow for more intricate gameplay. Each game focused normally on a series of cards and Pokemon and had your traverse the map of the specific region that you were playing in. What would be even better is either a rollout of maps and cards that allow for new gameplay or a singular map that can be changed continuously to expand on gameplay and scenarios. Additional packs could be purchased according to region or type to be played as Pokemon that can be encountered and then utilized throughout your journey. The purpose would be the same as all other Pokemon games, to be the Master and defeat the Elite Four.

According to the rules that would be filtered out at another period in time, you would draw playable cards according to the type of game that you are playing, and would only draw Pokemon character cards either when you draw an ‘Encounter Pokemon’ card or land on space that allows you to do the same action. By the end of the game, you cannot have any more than six Pokemon laid out in front of you, (no more than six in reserve), and that is the team that you must utilize when battling. Extensive switching out will not be permitted and doing so will cost your turn to be reverted to the next person. Obviously, there are a few kinks that would need to be worked out but the idea is a lot more solid than the Pokemon board games we already have out there.

 

 

The Good, The Bad, The Unforgettable: Evil Dead: A Fistful of Boomstick

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In light of The Evil Dead making its way to television for a second season of Ash vs Evil Dead, I thought it would be great to dedicate this week’s Throwback Thursday to one of the greatest film franchises in history.  Of course, there are many that disagree with me as well as many more that feel that there just isn’t enough Evil Dead to go around. Back in 2003, THQ and VIS Entertainment released an Evil Dead game for the PS2 titled A Fistful of Boomstick, portraying our hero, (antihero?), eleven years after the events of the Evil Dead trilogy and three years after the events of the PS2 game Hail to the King. Ash is traveling through time once again as the game begins with him telling an Asian man of his travels followed by a series of flashbacks that show how he came to meet this man in the first place.

Taking place in Dearborn Michigan, Ash sits by his lonesome at a bar while he watches a news station, (KLA2), talk about the Necronomicon Ex-Mortis and how the book reveals nonsense to those that believe it. Of course, the station plays the recording of Professor Knowby to the public and the incantations allow for Deadites to rule the land once more, prompting Ash to stop them. The game allows you to roam a bit in the town of Dearborn and lets you explore multiple places in order to stop the evil from happening, giving you far more leeway that Hail to the King did while not overwhelming the player with new information. It is just as campy, if not even better, than the films themselves and serves as a great game to add to the lineage of Evil Dead content that has graces our televisions way after the films release.

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Bruce Campbell comes back to voice Ash, as he has in pretty much every medium in which Ash is involved, and does so with gusto towards the characters feelings about the undead. You need to use your wits in order to solve a series of mild puzzles that allow you to venture deeper into the world, whether it be to find a special piece of equipment or simply show an officer a Police ID in order to be let into somewhere. The entire time, he is travelling in order to obtain the Kandarian Summoning Stone in order to control, and destroy, the deadites that are wreaking havoc in the town. The game is a wonderful blend between the content that we see in the films as well as more information to add towards Ash as a character and a defender of good, whether or not he actually wants to be.

If you really haven’t gotten your fill of The Evil Dead, check out the Evil Dead 2 Board Game by Space Goat Productions on the Kickstarter page.

Check out the trailer for the game below: